Bugger Off, Potter
by Greasy Slimeballs
Summary: [Complete] “Go jump off a cliff, Potter.” “Only for you, darling.” “I meant it.” “If I fell of a cliff, then I could never bug you again.” “Oh, how terrible.” A humorous fic of Lily and James; from fights to even more fights.
1. Year One

****

This is a cute ficlet that I thought up of a few seconds ago and I'm not joking. It's just something to get me into the writing mood. It's going to be all quotes (so I won't have to be obsessed with grammar) and three or four chapters.

Title: Bugger Off, Potter

Rating: G

Warnings: None

Genres: Humor

Summary: "Go jump off a cliff, Potter." "Only for you, darling." "I meant it." "If I fell of a cliff, then I could never bug you again." "Oh, how terrible." A humorous fic of Lily and James; from fights to even more fights, it's a fic filled with great ease.

__

Year One

"Hello, I'm James Potter."

"Hello, I'm Lily Evans and I find you extremely annoying."

"That's not very nice."

"Well I'm not a nice person. Now go away! I have to finish reading my book."

"That's a lie; you are nice. I saw you helping that girl with her suitcase."

"Okay, let me rephrase the statement: I'm nice to everybody, but Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum…oh and let's not forget the King of the Prats."

"Hey! Those are my friends you're talking about. But wait, how come you didn't say anything about Remus?"

"Who?"

"Remus, my friend. The one with the sandy brown hair who is the only sane one."

"Oh, him. I quite agree with you Potter, he is the only sane one out of you four."

"I'm insulted."

"Good, now leave me in peace."

****

Two Minutes Later

"Why are you still here?"

"Did you know that when you get really aggravated your eyebrow starts twitching?"

"OUT!"

"Hey, now it's really twitching."

"OUT! NOW!"

"Uh…James…I think we should go now."

"Good idea, Sirius."

****

Five Minutes Later

"Hi Flower."

"I thought I told you to go away?"

"You told me to go away, but you never said how long. See that's the thing with me; I'm a git and I don't know anything. I have to be told specific instructions or I mess up."

"Uh huh."

"Now we're getting somewhere Flower."

"Don't call me that!"

"Snappy aren't we? Now if you won't let me call you that then what **do** you want me to call you."

"Evans will be fine."

"I think not. How about Camilla? That's a flower. Right?"

"No."

"What about Daffodil? Oh! How about Daffy?"

"No!"

"What about Petunia that's a—"

"That's my sister's name."

"Are your parents gardeners?"

"No."

"Why are you always uptight."

"When annoying people come up to me—like you—I become frustrated. And then, when they don't leave me alone—like you—they get me even more frustrated. Then, my ears will have smoke coming out of my ears because I can't stand them."

"Oooo…ooo… I want to see that. Can you do it right now?"

"POTTER! OUT!"

"Bye Evans. Hey, that's what I'll call you—Evans."

"What a beautiful name. Now out!"

****

Two hours later

"Do you remember me? I'm in the same house as you. We're going to be best friends…forever."

"Oh goody. Then we can date and get married and produce Potter and Evans babies."

"YOU'RE BRILLIANT EVANS! HOW COME I DIDN'T THINK OF THAT."

"Then, I'll chase you with a pitchfork."

"That's not very nice."

"Well I'm not a very nice person."

"Yes you are, just not to me."

"Good going Einstein."

"Isn't that exciting?"

"What?"

"Us being in the same house."

"Oh, yeah, loads of fun."

"You can hang out with Moony, Padfoot, Wormtail, and me."

"Who's that?"

"Padfoot is Sirius, aka: Dumb. Wormtail is Peter, aka: Dumber. Moony is Remus, aka: The Only Sane One. Drum roll….AND I AM PRONGS, AKA: KING OF THE PRATS!"

"Uh huh. And can I have nickname so I can become friends with your friends. We'll all be one big family."

"You can be Hardy."

"Excuse me?"

"Which is short for Humeur Ardente."

"Speak English."

"It means "fiery redhead"."

"POTTER!"

"Sorry, I couldn't think up of anything creative."

"I'm going to kill you!"

"Not before I kiss you first."

"I meant kill…not KISS! I would never want to kiss you."

"Yes you would."

"And tell me why I would want to."

"Because…I'm wonderful and charming and everybody loves me."

"Here watch."

"Okay, so you blew a kiss to a girl…"

"Might I mention she ran into a Hufflepuff because I was so charming."

"You're only eleven."

"Yes, but I'm a charming eleven-year-old."

"I hate you Potter."

"I love you Hardy."

"Go jump off a cliff, Potter."

"Only for you, darling."

"I meant it."

"If I fell of a cliff, then I could never bug you again."

"Oh, how terrible."

"Oh, come on Flower, admit it. You love me and I love you."

"In your dreams, Potter!"

"Oh how I love you my dear."

"Just go jump off a cliff, Potter."

"Only for you, darling."

****

So did you like it? It helped me get rid of my writer's block.

-Kimberly-


	2. Year Two

****

Title: Bugger Off, Potter

Rating: G

Warnings: None

Genres: Humor

Summary: "Go jump off a cliff, Potter." "Only for you, darling." "I meant it." "If I fell of a cliff, then I could never bug you again." "Oh, how terrible." A humorous fic of Lily and James; from fights to even more fights, it's a fic filled with great ease.

__

Year Two

"Hello, I'm James Potter."

"Yes, I know that. I've lived with you for the past year and a half."

"Really now? Because I haven't seen you before."

"Well can I remind you who I am?"

"Sure."

"I am Lily Evans, future prefect and bookworm. You like to bug me, but I absolutely despise you. You don't like me either; you just like to bug me. You're a bimbo stuck in a twelve-year-old boy's body. You're friends are the Marauders and all of them are insane, except Remus, who happens to be my best friend."

"I'm not your best friend?"

"No, not really."

"I'm hurt Lils."

"Don't call me that."

"Sorry."

"So, did I get all the information right."

"Pretty much."

"Good, now can I escort you to your next class?"

"It's Saturday Potter, but nice try."

"Shoot."

"Yeah, too bad. You could've used the work out."

"HEY!"

****

Three Months Later

"I HATE YOU JAMES POTTER!"

"Now there's a surprise, Prongs."

"Shut up Sirius."

"What did you do to my hair, Potter?"

"I turned it green, Evans. Even a smart witch like you should know that."

"Turn it back."

"No can do, Evans."

"Why not?"

"Padfoot forget the counter curse."

"Well tell him to remember it. It has to be there…somewhere…in his thick head!"

"HEY!"

"Oh don't deny it, Black, you're as dumb as Potter, maybe even dumber."

"I'm not that dumb."

"Yes you are. The only thing that you know is an organism with two legs, a miniskirt, and long swishy hair."

"Is that a girl?"

"Shut up Padfoot."

"You shut up Potter."

"Evans."

"Potter."

"I'm warning you."

"What?"

"If you don't leave me alone, then I'll hex you and your friends into oblivion."

"Okay Evans."

"I'm leaving."

"Bye Evans!"

"Bye Evans, I love you!"

"Shut up Padfoot."

"What you like her?"

"Me…like her…I'd rather die."

"Sure Prongs."

"JAMES! WHAT DID YOU DO?"

"Oh…nothing Remus."

"I saw Lily with green hair."

"So?"

"Either Snape or you did it."

"It was Snape."

"Well considering the fact that I was tutoring Snape, to my strong disliking, but that's not the point, he couldn't of done it."

"Uh…"

"JAMES! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

"It was also Padfoot."

"Oh, but it was your evil plan."

****

Two Months Later

"BYE EVANS! HAVE A WONDERFUL SUMMER. I KNOW YOU'LL WRITE."

"IN YOUR DREAMS POTTER."

"What! That's all I get for a goodbye?"

"Oh, yeah, I forgot."

"OW! Evans, what did you do that for? You have one heck of a slap?"

"For being a prat."

"I can't help it."

"No, you really can't. Anyway, bye Potter."

"Bye Evans."


	3. Year Three

****

Title: Bugger Off, Potter

Rating: G

Warnings: None

Genres: Humor

Summary: "Go jump off a cliff, Potter." "Only for you, darling." "I meant it." "If I fell of a cliff, then I could never bug you again." "Oh, how terrible." A humorous fic of Lily and James; from fights to even more fights, it's a fic filled with great ease.

__

Year Three

"Hello, I'm James Potter."

"Yes, I know that. I've lived with you for the past two years and a half."

"Isn't that fascinating?"

"I suppose."

"How come you're not arguing back."

"No reason. I'm tired."

"Oh come on Evans. Now's not the time to be civil."

"Want me to be feisty?"

"Please."

"I'm too tired."

"No, there's something else."

"Well if we were friends, I would tell you. But we're not, so I won't. I might as well tell Remus. Bye Potter."

"Evans! Wait, I'm you're friend."

"In your dreams Potter."

"Why so uptight?"

"Because I dislike you Potter."

"The feeling is mutual, but I'm not mean."

"No, you're annoying."

****

Six months later

"EVANS!"

"I thought I would never hear you yell my name."

"What is this?"

"Potter, I think you have purple hair."

"Why did you do this?"

"I told you I would get you back for turning my hair green."

"EVANS!"

"That color is really good on you."

"Now I look like a fruit cup."

"Potter, you were always a fruit cup."

"Was not."

"Was too."

"Was not."

"Was too."

"Enough, just tell me the counter curse."

"I think Remus forgot it."

"Moony, make Evans tell me the counter curse."

"No can do, mate, I was sworn to secrecy."

"Why did you become friends with her?"

"Because unlike you James, she's the only sane one out of my friends."

"Are you calling me insane?"

"Am I James?"

"Remus."

"James."

"Remus. Potter. Are you done?"

"Yes."

"Yes."

"Good, now Remus, let's go and get to our next class."

"Good idea. Bye James."

"Bye Re—wait, Remus. Are you just going to leave me like this."

"Bye Potter. I'll bring you a shirt tomorrow so it can match your beautiful hair."

"Argh, Evans."

"Bye Potter. I love you."

"EVANS!"

****

One month later

"I still haven't forgiven you about what you did to me."

"Oh, you mean the purple hair."

"Yes."

"I thought that was rather funny. Plus, you did it to me. Remember?"

"But that was so long time ago?"

"Well so was that."

"But that incident was a year and a half ago."

"So? You were only stuck with the hair for a week. I was stuck with my green hair for three weeks because Remus couldn't get the counter curse out of your mouth or Sirius'. Peter was a helpless case, so Remus didn't even bother to talk to him."

"Well still—"

"Save your breath for someone who cares Potter."

"I care Evans."

"If you did, then you wouldn't of turned my hair purple in first year."

"It's called a joke Evans. You know I hate you."

"Hate's a strong word."

"Intense dislike."

"Better. But I think I hate you more."

"No, I think I do."

"What are you arguing about now? James? Lily?"

"We're arguing over who hates who more. Remus, what do you think?"

"I think it's a tie. There's so much hate in this room that I think I might hate you both from being too close to you."

"GOODBYE MOONY!"

"See you later Lily."

"Bye."

"Now, let's get back to our argument."

"Fine with me."

****

Like it? Love it? Hate it?

-Kimberly-


	4. Year Four

****

Title: Bugger Off, Potter

Rating: G

Warnings: None

Genres: Humor

Summary: "Go jump off a cliff, Potter." "Only for you, darling." "I meant it." "If I fell of a cliff, then I could never bug you again." "Oh, how terrible." A humorous fic of Lily and James; from fights to even more fights, it's a fic filled with great ease.

__

Year Four

"Hi Lily."

"Excuse me Potter, but did you just call me Lily? Oh and what happened to your annual, 'Hi, I'm James Potter. What's your name,' phase. I think you need to see Madam Pomfrey."

"I'm fine."

"Then why are you acting this way?"

"What? Normal?"

"Yeah. You're not like this."

"Do you want me to be loud and annoying?"

"Please do. This awkward rubbish is freaking me out."

"I'm sorry if I'm too close to your proximity."

"That's not it, Potter."

"It's James."

"I like Potter better."

"Potter sounds like a potter who is involved with pots."

"Well that's what you are, Potter, a pot."

"Gee Lily, sorry for starting a conversation with you. I'm leaving."

"For good?"

"No, I'll see you around though."

"Oh great."

****

Two Weeks Later

"Is he nuts?"

"Who? James?"

"Yes, Remus."

"Lily, listen to me, James has grown up a little."

"I don't think that's possible."

"I don't know if I'm allowed to say this, but—"

"Spit it out Lupin."

"He likes you."

"Potter? Like me—now that's an idea there. Please, we've been enemies ever since first year. He's hated me for so long that I can't even keep track and vice versa. I'm sorry but I refuse to believe that. Ew! Even the thought grosses me out. Mrs. Lily Potter. That doesn't sound so bad—what am I thinking? Am I going crazy Remus?"

"One: Lily, you've always been crazy. It's kind of funny because you're so brilliant, yet crazy. Two: Believe whatever you want, but when I tell you that James like you…then he really does."

"When did this happen?"

"What?"

"His infatuation with me?"

"Ever since Sirius started noticing girls."

"Sirius?"

"Yeah, he liked you too; it kind of got messy between—oh God, why am I telling you this?"

"Because I'm your best friend."

"Well, so are they."

"Please?"

"Listen Lily, you aren't thirteen anymore."

"I'm fourteen. So what? It's just another year added to my age. It's not like I've changed or anything."

"Just listen to me Lils; you _have_ changed. You might not know it, but you have. You're a girl now."

"Really now? I though I was a boy. Thanks for informing me Remus on your shocking discovery!"

"What shocking discovery?"

"Sirius go away."

"No Remus I don't think I should."

"Oh Sirius, guess what?"

"What?"

"Remus has finally realizes I'm a girl. He thought I was a boy all along."

"You know Remus, for a smart bloke, you sure are stupid."

"Thanks Padfoot."

"Anytime Moony. Well I must go. Bye Lily."

"WHAT ABOUT ME? See I told you Lily, the two idiotic prats that I call my friends like you. Well it's different with Sirius; he just thinks you're cute. Oh god, since when did I become a bloody messenger? Padfoot and Prongs are going to kill me when they hear that I told you all of this."

"Let's just not talk about it anymore."

"Let me guess, you're a man hater."

"If I was a man hater then I would hate you."

"I meant relationship wise."

"Oh, that. Aren't we a little bit young?"

"I think all of us are, but I don't think Prongs and Padfoot think that."

****

Seven Months Later

"Hey Lily?"

"Yes Potter?"

"Will you….will you…will yougoouttoHogsmeadewithme?"

"No thanks."

"You understood that?"

"Yes."

"But why don't you want to go out with me?"

"Are you seriously asking this?"

"Yes."

"So, you like me. Well, when I think of a boy liking a girl, I think of the boy being nice around the girl. With you, it's completely different. You prank me and tease me; that's not what I call love. Second of all, you curse Snape into oblivion just because you feel like it. Third of all, Sirius likes me—not like I care—but that's not the point. It just wouldn't work out."

"I think you just don't like me."

"Bingo Potter. You win!"

"Can we be friends?"

"Potter, you don't know the first thing about being someone's friend."

****

Short, but sweet. This is supposed to be short, so don't curse me into oblivion with your wooden sticks, please.

-Kimberly-


	5. Year Five

****

Title: Bugger Off, Potter

Rating: G

Warnings: None

Genres: Humor

Summary: "Go jump off a cliff, Potter." "Only for you, darling." "I meant it." "If I fell of a cliff, then I could never bug you again." "Oh, how terrible." A humorous fic of Lily and James; from fights to even more fights, it's a fic filled with great ease.

Year Five

"Hey Evans! Go out with me! I know you want to."

"No thank you."

"All you have to say is yes and in minutes we'll be a couple."

"Do you know what that could do to my reputation?"

"I don't think it's your reputation you're worried about."

"That's right Potter. I'm more worried about killing myself."

"And why would you do an idiotic thing like that?"

"Every time I'm around you, I just want to jump off a cliff. So that would mean, if I went out with you, I would have to see you frequently. To you frequently is every day and that would mean I would have to jump off a cliff every day."

"But think about this Evans, I would always be there at the cliff's bottom to catch you."

"You're so romantic Potter. You're so romantic that I think I'm going to regurgitate."

"What can I say? I'm a romantic person."

"_More like a horny git_."

"Take that back."

"Nope."

"I'm simple infatuated with you Ms. Evans."

"Well you want to know something?"

"What?"

"I simply detest you, darling."

"Fine with me. But you'll realize it some day Lily; we're meant to be together. We'll grow up and love each other. Then we'll get married and Sirius will be my best man and Remus will be your Maid of Honor. Both of us will produce Potter and Evans babies and we'll live… HAPPILY. EVER. AFTER."

"Hey!"

"Moony, you need to accept the fact that you're more feminine than Lily here."

"I am not!"

"Yes you are."

"So, Potter. Will all of this take place after I die?"

****

Three Months Later

"Hey Lily."

"What's up, Black?"

"Can I talk to you? Alone."

"If you haven't noticed Black, there's no one around us. We're in a library; no one visit's the library, but me…and Remus. Oh and don't forget you and Potter when you're spotting girls. But that's normal with you."

"Can we be serious for a second?"

"Serious? Sirius is serious? SHOCKING!"

"Number one: that was a terrible joke, never use that again. Number Two: I'm trying to ask you a serious question."

"Okay Black, I'm listening."

"It's Sirius."

"Okay Sirius."

"So we've been friends for how long?"

"A year and a half. Why?"

"Do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me this Saturday."

"…"

"Lily?"

"…"

"LILY!"

"Okay."

"Seriously?"

"Siriusly."

"That wasn't funny, Lily."

"Sorry Sirius."

"Good, so what do we do now."

"I think you should kiss me now."

****

Kissing

"That was nice."

"Very nice. You're one heck of a kisser, Lils."

"You'll regret that you said that."

****

Two Months Later

"You're going out with him?"

"Why is that so shocking Potter?"

"But I liked you before. I even asked you out before him! Why would you pick him over me? We're the same. If you go out with him; you go out with me."

"Potter, you and Black are so different. Black asked me out in a serious and courteous way. Even though you asked me out nicely in fourth year, your attitude from there was obnoxious! You would scream across the Great Hall, 'Hey Evans, let's go to Hogsmeade next week'. Potter, I'm sorry, I already have a boyfriend."

"Why didn't you say yes in fourth year?"

"I didn't like guys back then."

"You liked Remus and Sirius."

"Back then, they were my best friends, well Remus was, but Sirius was just a friend. Unlike you, they understood me and didn't use me as one of their play toys."

"I would never do that to you, Evans."

"I know you wouldn't, but sometimes Potter, I don't get you. Other times, you can be so sweet and caring, but then when you _realize_ you're acting like this, you turn back to your pratty self. It's like you're afraid of being yourself around me. I know you're a prat, but not around Remus, Sirius, and Peter. They've told me how sweet and caring you are to other students. How come you don't act that way with me?"

"I don't know how to deal with girls, Lils. I think showing off will get the girls—it works with the rest of the girls at Hogwarts—but not with you. You're different Lily and I don't know how I can get you."

"Then try to be my friend, Potter."

"You won't let me."

"No Potter, the only reason I didn't let you be my friend last year was because you didn't know how."

"I know how."

"No you don't. Asking me out twenty-four/seven doesn't work with me. You have to be there for me when I need help. That doesn't mean making moves on me; it means comforting…you know like hugging."

"Like this?"

****

James hugs Lily

"Potter, I'm not dying right now, so you can let go of me."

"Right, sorry."

"It's okay."

"So can we start over again? You know, introduce ourselves to each other and start over."

"Potter, starting over is nearly impossible. I can't forget what you did to me these past four years. You just have to prove to me that you've changed. From there, I'll see if we can be friends."

"Thanks Lily."

"Anytime James."


	6. Year Six

****

Title: Bugger Off, Potter

Rating: G

Warnings: None

Genres: Humor

Summary: "Go jump off a cliff, Potter." "Only for you, darling." "I meant it." "If I fell of a cliff, then I could never bug you again." "Oh, how terrible." A humorous fic of Lily and James; from fights to even more fights, it's a fic filled with great ease.

Year Six

"Hey James."

"Hey Lily. How was your summer?"

"Pretty good. My sister and I—well let's just say things aren't the way they used to be."

"What happened?"

"It's a long story."

"That's just an excuse for not telling me the story."

"Okay, but you have to promise you won't tell anyone about this."

"Yes sir!"

"Before I started Hogwarts, my sister and I were like peanut butter and jelly. You would never see one with the other. I was her shadow and she was mine; we loved each other to death and we vowed that we would never let anything come between us. When my Hogwarts letter came in the mail, my parents were ecstatic and threw a party for me before I went to school.

"My sister was happy for me, but was lonely at the same time. She wasn't jealous, just lonely. It was very hard for me to say goodbye to her and vice versa. Whenever I came home for summer and Christmas, she was always excited and had her arms open for me. That precious time we had together was spent talking, laughing, and playing.

"Then, this summer, she couldn't take it anymore. She was sick of waiting for me to come home from Hogwarts and she took matters into her own hands. She became distant from me this summer and never talked to me. Then when I went to tell her goodbye, she called me a "freak" and said that things would never be the same again."

"I'm sorry."

"Well I'm over it."

"Doesn't seem like it."

"Gee Potter, thanks for making me feel better."

"Sorry."

"It's okay, it's not your fault."

"Well it isn't yours either."

"Yeah."

"This is funny."

"What?"

"Us."

"What do you mean us?"

"If I was psychic when I was twelve, then I would've never of thought that you and I would be having a civil conversation. It's funny—it's almost as if we were friends."

"Well we are. Aren't we?"

"If you want to be."

"Okay Potter, we're friends."

"If we're friends, you can't call me Potter."

"Darn. Let's just not be friends."

"So much for being friends…"

"I was kidding James."

"Right. So how's Padfoot?"

"I only saw him a couple of times this summer. Isn't he staying over at your place?"

"Yeah, his parents kicked him out a year ago. Oh god—I shouldn't of told you that."

"No, I knew. He told me."

"So are you still a couple."

"Yeah."

"That's kind of funny."

"Why?"

"Want to know a secret—promise you won't tell anyone though?"

"Sure."

"Padfoot really likes you. He's never had a relationship that has lasted this long. He's—ugh, how would you call it?—he's just a player, but when he met you…he fell hard. Man, we all fell hard for you."

"We?"

"Half the population of Hogwarts."

"…"

"You're blushing."

"I am not!"

"You look like a tomato when you blush."

"You're terrible."

"Terrible, yet cunning."

"I have to agree with that. Oh look, we're here. Come on James, I have to go see Sirius. I haven't seen him in ages. JAMES LET'S GO! STOP FLIRTING!"

****

Six Months Later

"Lily. Are you okay?"

"Surprisingly—no."

"That's saying something; you just dumped your boyfriend."

"Wouldn't you? He was cheating on me."

"I know Lily, but give him a chance."

"I did."

"But doesn't he deserve a second chance?"

"No—"

"Lily, please. He's been up in his room the whole day. He really wishes that he didn't do it. Guess what?"

"What?"

"You know the girl he was making out with?

"How could I forget?"

"He refuses to speak to her. And get this, he banged his head up against the wall four times so now, he has a lump on his head. He also managed to throw things at Remus, Peter, and I because he was mad. He'd rather us be dead than you. Because if I was him, I would kill you."

"Oh gee, thanks. And why would you kill me?"

"Because you're too loveable."

"Thanks James. Now do you want to know something?"

"What?"

"I think you know how to be somebody's friend."

"Lily I was always your friend—you just wouldn't let me."

"Does that include the first three years of us hating each other?"

"No, I don't think so."

"I'm confused now."

"Ah, Lily, we have plenty of time to figure it out."

****

Two Weeks Later

"You're happy."

"Yes James, and you know why?"

"Why?"

"Sirius and I have gotten back together and it was all because of you."

"What can I say, I'm a miracle worker."

"Yes you are."

****

Kisses James on the cheek.

"Bye James!"

"Uh—bye Lily. Right, bye."

"Hi Prongs."

"Hi Moony."

"What's up?"

"I think my heart's in overdrive again."

"You're not supposed to fall for her, again. I thought you were over her."

"I thought I was too, but she just—"

"She has that effect on you?"

"How would you know? You don't have a crush on her?"

"Nah—I've just talked to lots of people who have. I can't fall in love with Lils, we've been best friends since first year. She's more of a sister than a lover. Sorry to disappoint you there, Prongs."

"Oh no, there's no disappointment."

"You can't do this, James. She's Sirius' girl."

"I know. I'll just stay away from her."

"That's not the answer. You've just reached your ultimate goal—you two are finally friends."

"No; my ultimate goal is to kiss her and then date her and then marry her. But I can't because she's Sirius' girl. If I'm around her any longer then I think I'll do something stupid. I might go back to my old ways."

"Your old ways?"

"My cockiness."

"James, if you stay away from her then that'd just hurt her. You wouldn't want to do that? Would you?"

"No."

"Just be her friend James. You'll get your turn."

"Let's hope so Moony."

**__**


	7. Year Seven

****

Title: Bugger Off, Potter

Rating: G

Warnings: None

Genres: Humor

Summary: "Go jump off a cliff, Potter." "Only for you, darling." "I meant it." "If I fell of a cliff, then I could never bug you again." "Oh, how terrible." A humorous fic of Lily and James; from fights to even more fights, it's a fic filled with great ease.

Year Seven

"Hi Lily!"

"Hi James!"

"Do you feel like doing something wild."

"For some odd reason, yes."

"Good."

"Let's jump off a cliff!"

"Okay, but you have to jump off it first."

"No, you have to."

"No, you."

"YOU!"

"You!"

"YOU!"

"Shut up you two. Aren't you supposed to be scrubbing those trophies until they shine?"

"I think Filch is angry."

"Really, Potter?"

"Yes."

"I'm still mad at you for getting me in detention. Sirius and I were supposed to be spending time together."

"Does that include snogging on the couch?"

"Yes."

"Well, you know you want to spend time with me. I'm cool—in fact, I'm the coolest of cool. I'm the coolest of cool of cool."

"No you're the loserest of loser. You're the loserest of loser of loser."

"You're making no sense."

"You shouldn't be talking. At least I don't stutter when I'm talking."

"Does it look like I'm stuttering? NO! So that means, I'm not."

"You stutter when you're talking really fast because all of your words clash together."

"They do not."

"Talk fast."

"Lily is beautiful and is a l-l-oser."

"Look, you stuttered on loser. And I'm not a loser."

"No, you're the loserest of loser of loser of loser."

"Let's get back to scrubbing."

"Okay, Ms. Head Girl. I'm so glad you're Head Girl because that means I'm Head Boy. When I received my letter, I was afraid of a hideous girl fulfilling the Head Girl position, but no—when I saw you, my heart burst from my chest."

"Promise me you'll never become a poet."

"I promise, my dear Head Girl."

"Okay, my dear Head Boy, let's get to work."

"Anything for you."

****

Six Months Later

"I'm sorry Lily."

"About what?"

"I heard about you and Sirius. I bought some flowers and chocolates for you to feel better. I even bought the chocolates that have the peanut butter in the middle of it—the way you like it. I thought it would make you feel better and all."

"You're stuttering James. But thank you, very much. I need something to cheer me up."

"Why did you break up with him? I mean you're sad about this and everything. You could've stayed with him."

"It's complicated."

"Well tell me. I have plenty of time."

"We have classes next, James."

"We'll skip 'em."

"You're bad Potter."

"I know Evans. Now tell me."

"I can't tell you."

"How come?"

"James, don't get any closer to me."

"What do you mean? You mean, you don't want me to scoot over—like this."

****

James moves closer.

"James…please."

****

James moves closer.

"You're torturing me, you know."

****

James moves too close to Lily's proximity.

"Ditto."

"James, please."

"Tell me or I'll scoot closer."

"Do you want to know the reason why I can't tell you?"

"Yes."

****

Lily kisses James.

"That's the reason."

"Do that again."

"What?"

"Do you not understand me? I said do it again."

"But—"

****

James kisses Lily.

****

Five Months Later

"I promise I'll write you ever day, Lils."

"I'm going to miss you."

"I'll miss you too. God—I don't want to leave you."

"Since when have you been reading poetry? I thought I forbid you to be a poet. Have you been reading my Shakespeare novels?"

"Couldn't help it."

"James?"

"Yes, Lily."

"Let's jump off a cliff."

"Only for you darling. Who will go first?"

"I will."

"No—wait. We'll go together."

****

End.

Did you like it? I thought it was so cute. You're probably wondering why this wasn't classified as romance—well it's because the only romance that was in it was toward the end. It's more of humor. There wasn't any fluff description in it. So I didn't really classify it was romance.

Hope you liked it!

Thank you to all my reviewers. You're simply wondrous and beautiful!

-Kimberly-

**__**


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